Friday, November 4, 2016

Let's call it a joke

Q:: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A:: The chicken does what it does. The chicken feels no need to explain its actions to you or anyone else. You just have to trust the chicken, or don't.


susan said...

"So, again no, we didn't discover aliens on Europa. This shouldn't come as a huge shock to anyone. We told you repeatedly that today's announcement wouldn't be about aliens. But every time we do one of these things with the press, inevitably you guys think it's going to be about aliens. So I'll let you in on a little secret. NASA will literally never hold a press conference announcing we have discovered aliens. Because we are never going to discover aliens. Aliens are going to discover us, and when they do it won't be pretty. You can take that to the bank. There certainly won't be enough time for a press conference about it. You probably won't even have time to blink. Just a hot white flash in the sky and then lights out. As far as the universe is concerned, relatively speaking, we're infants. Lord knows we act like it. I mean you guys see the same garbage we do, right? Would you tolerate any of this? If you were them? I know I sure as shit wouldn't. Not even for a second. We're basically infants and when the adults show up - and they will show up sooner or later - it's game over. Best case scenario, we wipe ourselves off the face of the planet before they get a crack at us. You want an announcement about aliens? Here it is: Be careful what you wish for. If you guys knew even a fraction of the shit we do, you'd never sleep again. I promise you that."

Paul Hertz, Director of the Astrophysics Division at NASA

ps: Paul Hertz is real but I'm guessing some wag made this up since scientists aren't known to be funny in front of reporters - except for Richard Feynman.

Ben said...

There is a YouTube videoof this statement, which would seem like strong supporting evidence. But it turns out to be just a still photo of Hertz accompanied by a "lady" robot voice reading the words and a montage of space images. So yeah, it's probably somewhere between a hoax and a joke. (A joax?) Still funny, though.