I was just thinking about making a joke. Then I realized I had already made it. So obviously I can't now, because I'd just be repeating myself. I'll wait a few months or years. Then it will be like opening a fine vintage.
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Okay, while I wait for yours I decided to go and find a few slow jokes for myself:
An Airbus is flying 30,000 feet in the air at 500 mph. Suddenly a fighter jet pulls up and slows down beside it and radioes it.
“Boring flight, huh, Airbus? Watch this!” The fighter proceeds to flip upside down and speed up, breaking the sound barrier before corkscrewing to skim the ocean, and coming up back beside the Airbus. “What’d you think?”
The Airbus pilot replies, “Not bad, but look at this.” The Airbus proceeds to fly straight for the next five minutes before the pilot comes on the radio again. “See?”
The fighter pilot is perturbed. “I don’t get it, what did you do?”
“I got up, stretched my legs, went to the bathroom and got a cinnamon bun and a cup of coffee.”
***
A highway cop stops a car that is going too slow
He gets out and goes up to the car, and finds it full of old ladies. He addresses the driver:
"Maam, you were going 20 miles an hour on a 70 mile an hour highway. Going that slow is too dangerous"
"But officer, I was just following the speed limit", she says, pointing to a sign up ahead.
"Maam, that sign means that you're on highway number 22. That's the speed limit sign", pointing at a sign that says 70.
"Oh. That makes sense. I'm sorry for the trouble, officer".
The officer looks in the back seat and notices that all the ladies back there look absolutely traumatized.
"Maam, if you don't mind me asking, what's up with your friends in the back?"
"Oh, that's nothing. They're just a little shaken up, since we just got off of highway 167"
***
When cashing out at the grocery store it was obvious my cashier was high, slow as hell, and insulting me under their breath.
I still don't know if I like self-checkout.
:)
I thank you for dropping those into my lap. I especially laughed at the joke about the old lady and the state trooper. She'd be driving on Route 6 at a nice leisurely place. Although since it connects America's two coasts, it would take years to get from one end to the other.
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