In any case it's better to be aware of the phenomenon, to be prepared in the future.
Wednesday, December 18, 2024
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Being a social animal isn't a bad thing, but there's an underside to it. If you can be shamed out of doing something that isn't bad, you can probably be shamed into doing something that is. Disturbing knowledge, but there it is. You may well be able to think of some examples from the recent past.
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People do have an innate desire to belong and be accepted by others. It can make us pretty easy prey for people who enjoy humiliating relatives, friends, and acquaintances. Of course, it could be dangerous if someone tries to embarrass the wrong person. Willing victims aren't always easy to recognize.
The behavior we're most often accused of is being wrong about something. If we shame people for being wrong the conversation comes to a sudden halt (unless of course you've shamed that wrong person at which point you might find yourself with a sore or broken something or other) - but that way nothing ever gets settled (not even the medical bill). Humiliating people for holding opinions is never beneficial to anyone.
Yeah, that desire to belong is a point of vulnerability, although it might also be a necessary one. Certainly there are those who want to exploit that, and who have ways of doing so. You can't always see them coming. The fact that some people refuse to be willing victims is actually quite encouraging.
Obviously no one can be right all the time. But in a real sense that's not even the point. The aim is to use social pressures to make something be accepted as "true." Even beyond that, to make it beyond questioning. Always a good idea to ask yourself who benefits from you not questioning things.
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